Bystander or Not?!

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

This quote caught my eye and slapped me in the face last week.  A beloved friend of mine (you know who you are girl ;) posted a response and a sermon addressing some of the complexities surrounding this #blacklivesmatter movement as a result of recent events in our country. I took the time to listen to Andy Stanley’s sermon “Skin in the Game” which was an open conversation between black and white Christian leaders trying to provide background, answers, and explanations for this multifaceted reality and how Christians should respond and show their support to their black brothers and sisters and our brave first responders who risk their lives daily to protect us.

By nature I am more of a social media bystander when it comes to events like these.  I don’t really like to rock the boat; I’m a lover, not a fighter.  I choose to not get involved in controversial debates and even sometimes ignore it all together, scrolling right past both sides of the issues, looking for more cheerful posts like quizzes that help me identify, “What color best suits you?” or “Who is your T.V. husband, based on your personality?”  Something in me just has to know those things…… But when it comes to REAL, RAW, HARD issues; I like to stay on the sidelines…..Why is that?

After reading this quote and listening to this sermon, I was reminded of a question one of my students asked me this year.  I had a group of students reading Number of the Stars, a book about a Jewish girl and her best friend living in Copenhagen during the Holocaust.  Annemarie’s family risked their lives to hide her Jewish friend Ellen during the war.  It is a beautiful story of courage and friendship during this historical nightmare.  One student posed the question to the group, “If you lived during this time period, what would you do?  Would you hide your best friend?”  As I sat back and watched this conversation take place, I was blown away by the deep, mature responses.  Some students said yes, definitely!  I would protect my friend!  And I am sure some of them would.  But then one girl honestly admitted that she didn’t know if she would.  She said that she would be afraid of getting in trouble.  She declared that of course she thought it was horrible, and she wouldn’t be mean to the Jews, but she didn’t know if she would be brave enough to hide her friend and put her own family at risk.  Wow! I so appreciated her honesty.  Then the question turned to me, my students asked me, “Ms. Cawood, what would you do?”  This is a moment we as teachers face when we have to decide to be completely honest, or to say the “right thing”.  Taking the lead of my 11-year old student, I chose to answer honestly.  I said, “I would hope to think that I would hide my friend.  If I was ever faced with a situation like that, I hope I would be a hero like Corrie Ten Boom and save the lives of many.  BUT I know that there have been times in my life when I have stood by and been silent.  In school, I watched others being bullied or disrespected and did nothing.  I myself was not throwing the insults, but I also wasn’t shielding them.  I haven’t always stood up for friends or family members in challenging situations.  So to answer the question, I hope I would be brave enough to protect my friend, but I am honestly not sure.”

In reality, the majority of people are bystanders.  This MLK quote is evidence of that.  The majority of us are “good” people.  We aren’t saying mean, cruel and racist things to people we interact with.  We’re not the ones being violent.  But our silence is saying something….. Is it saying that these things don’t matter to us?  Am I communicating to my minority friends and community members that what hurts them is insignificant to me?  Is my silence illustrating that I do not appreciate the sacrifice our local law enforcement officers and their families make to keep our community safe?

So in light of this, I want to take this moment to say that the issue of racial injustice does matter to me.  It pains me to know that you have to consider things that never cross my mind just because of your skin color. The racial profiling you encounter angers me; it’s not fair.  It burdens me to know that you have been made to feel inferior at times.  On a personal level, I am sorry for any prejudices or judgments I have made in the past due to my own fear or ignorance.  Forgive me for my judgements and my silence.

And to our brave officers who daily risk their lives for my freedom and safety, I thank you for your service.  I recognize that some situations you encounter are scary and uncertain.  I pray for your safety and that you will have wisdom and knowledge of how to handle all situations.

My prayers are with those who have lost loved ones and for those who have been hurt by injustice or violence of any kind.  I will pray that believers, including myself, will have the courage to take a stand when we need to stand, the wisdom to be silent when our words will hurt, and above all for the compassion to love others the way that Christ loves us.  Break our hearts Lord, for what breaks yours, and show us the way to unify our hearts and minds.