Lasts

The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people, and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you”….So Abram left, as the Lord told him.” Genesis 12:1,4a.  God laid this same request on my heart, and I waited patiently for the Lord to show me the land He was sending me.  He had me wait so long, that when He finally revealed where He was leading, I didn’t care where I was going just that I finally knew!

The days leading up to the time for me to depart to Ethiopia were bittersweet.  This whole process has been a whirlwind; I’ve had assurance, peace, and joy about this decision, but it was not until the few days before I left that I had the opportunity to fully realize the implications of the sacrifices I would be making. 

God was asking me to leave my country; its customs, my way of life, my people; my closest friends, the people I surround myself with, and my father’s household; my family, my parents, grandparents, and siblings. The reality of leaving became real during my last few days of being in America.

It was when I started thinking about all of the “lasts” that reality starting to sink in my heart and mind.  The last time I would go to Bible study on Tuesday nights and get to spend time with the girls that I have become very close with.  The last time I would go to see a chick-flick with my “chick-flick” friends.  The last time I would play catch phrase at an RA staff meeting.  The last time I would walk the campus of DSC, my favorite place in the world!  The last time I would go to a Rock Bridge church service.  The last time I would have lunch with my friends and coworkers.  The last time I would spend with my closest friends, talking into the night about God, love, and life.  The last times I would spend with my family...  The last football game I would watch of my little brother.  The last family dinner we would have together.  The last time my mother and I would fight over her chair in the living room.  The last time I would feel the hugs of the people I love most.  The list could go on…..

Of course this is not the last time I will ever experience these things; just the last time for a while.  At first, I did not let myself dwell on the sacrifices.  Sometimes it is easiest to ignore the deepest longings and parts of our heart.  If we ignore the true and deep feelings we have inside, we do not have to experience the reality of their pain.  However, ignoring these feelings would also cause me to cheapen my relationships and the customs I have come to cherish here at home.

When Jesus called the disciples, He asked them to “drop their nets” and follow Him.  They were so honored by this request of the Rabbi, Messiah, Son of God that they did not even stop to calculate their losses.  That is exactly how I felt from the moment God called me to go to Ethiopia.  I do feel HONORED to be chosen by God.  I’ve been sheltered by His provision, lavished by His favor, and enthralled by His love.  I’ve watched Him work out all things in His timing.  Every little road block I came against, He challenged with a divine alternate route.  It has been simply amazing!

The disciples were honored to be chosen by Jesus; I’m sure they acknowledged that in their hearts many times.  I’m also sure though, when they lay their heads down at night, that they sometimes had a hard time falling asleep.  They probably thought about the people they loved and missed at home and maybe even shed a few tears. 

However, they were never overcome by their sorrow because of the presence of Jesus; Jesus sleeping near them.  To all of my family and friends, I honor you by dedicating this post to you.  I will truly miss each and every one of you! I have shed many tears at the thought of leaving you behind; I have stayed up at night thinking about you and the times I am going to miss spending with you.  But I have not been overcome with sorrow because of the presence of my Savior.

He knows the sacrifices we all have to make to follow Him, but His promise is that He will never leave us or forsake us.  Isaiah 64:4 says, “No ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him.”  1 Corinthians 2:9 says it like this, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.”  I step forward into faith believing those promises.  I believe them because He has always been faithful before.